HONK! A "different" musical

As a youth pastor, I get to catch all manner of performances.  For some of you this makes youth ministry sound better... "I get to see live performances?!", others see it as further proof for why they don't hang out with teenagers... "I'd have to see live performances!"  I love it, partially because it let's me do two things I adore: become more rounded AND encourage the next generation in their passion!

In light of, or perhaps because of, the above, I was able to see Parkview Highschool's performance of Honk!  The musical is an extended look at the tail (sic) of the ugly duckling.  The teens and supporting adults did a great job with the show and you could tell they enjoyed themselves (it's a lot less pleasing when they don't!).  A quick side-note and special thank you is in order for Aaron Stevens, Amanda Creech, Breanne Case, and Spencer Stevens (first name alphabetically organized) performing so admirably and introducing me to the show.  You guys are much better centers of attention than I.  Thanks for the invites and reminders.

Back to HONK!
A song of note is "Different".  It focuses on how even before the ugly duckling/swan hatches, it isn't like the others.  From there, it reprises post-egg and the word captures the little fowl well.  Standing out, something the baby swan can't avoid thanks to drastically different costume, appearance, and vocal capabilities, causes the creature no end of harassment from the other farm animals.  There are a few moments where even the mama duck isn't sure what to do with the odd product of her nest.  The ones who are most willing to offer the outcast a kind ear are the most ugly, the frogs, and the most beautiful, the swans.

The commentary provided by the musical has bounced around and gathered an odd collection of ideas.  Near the top is how scary it is to be different when we all seek acceptance.  This is most evident in teenage years.  Teens will sacrifice the wisdom of parents, and even their own pre-made decisions to experience acceptance (think any bad idea brought about by peer pressure).  Adults aren't immune, though, consider how many of us keep up with the Jones.

How do you reconcile the fear of rejection with the desire to be an individual?  It's akin to how we'll order a diet coke with our triple bacon cheeseburger.  Or more painfully, how we say we love them and stab them in the back.  We are broken, inconsistent, and fragmented.  We long to be told we're okay and welcome, but then we balk at being pigeon-holed.

The musical addresses this in saying that we choose to embrace our difference from others but still choose them (perhaps why the swans and frogs are most willing to be with the ugly duckling, they know themselves and are true to who they are).  If we learn to accept ourselves first, we get further down the road.  This falls on the heels of the transformation of ugly duckling into beautiful swan, which makes it an easier acceptance for all.  This is the joy of the stage.

One of these things is not like the others... and that's good!

The burden of reality isn't always as easy.

Sometimes we don't become swans and we don't see others' transformation.  There are times when the ugly duckling remains a different creature.  The day doesn't always end as well as a 3 hour play, BUT this enforces the worth of self-acceptance.  You are, as I am, rather wonderful, carefully crafted, and masterfully added to the world by a Creator who knows what he's doing with his creatures.

I brought home a report card full of C's once.  Mama had a few words for me about doing better.  I tried to explain, with what my 8 year old brain considered to be good logic, that C was average and therefore not bad.  Mama looked me in the eye, and said, "You shouldn't look to be average." I had been given permission to be abnormal, ill-fitting, unusual, above-, around-, and far from normal!  I think I've succeed well in that, sometimes to Mama's frustration.

You might not need anything else, you might need a million other things, but here is your formal invitation and expressed permission:
Be different, be okay with it, and accept us for being different too... you beautiful swan, you.

Motivation

Yesterday it happened.  A buzz on my phone, a quick check of the text's content, and WHAM-O!  I'm looking at which marathon I should do next.  All it took was my buddy saying he had started training for his first and, like a mother who's struck with baby fever, I forget about all the crud I endured last time and start looking forward to the finish line!

For those of you who have never run a marathon, are considering one for the first time, or would refuse to consider running one... I recently wore your shoes (sounds like a lot of shoes, right?!).  As of April 2009, I hadn't run further than from the sofa to the fridge, and that was to make it there and back in the commercial break!  I had run a little in college just to be able to maintain a healthy appearance for the ladies, many would argue that it didn't work.  But competitive running had no appeal to me, I saw nothing great about heading any amount of distance.

Enter one silly movie, two friends who trained with me, and a lot of help.  That's how I started planning how I would take on my first 26.2 miles near Orlando, FL with the Disney Marathon 01/10/10.  Simply put: it was great, horrible, inspiring, grueling, and if all else fails cold!  The race started early and with the thermometers reading 26 degrees (see photo).

Random fun running fact: the colder it is, the less your body has to fight heating up, thus giving your body more energy to take care of other things.  Like moving your legs.

Equally random fun Ryan fact: I picked a race in Florida, in January, thinking it wouldn't be too bad weather-wise. This is why I don't advocate strongly for advanced planning.

The race was technically my second race.  My first was a local 5k put on by a nearby high school to raise funds for their wrestling and baseball team (how those two ended up going in on the race I'll never understand!).  I finished right at 24 minutes.  For perspective, a 5k translates loosely into 3.1 miles, which is between a 1/8 and a 1/9 of the distance of a marathon.

I followed the prescribed advice of Runner's World magazine's SmartCoach training.  To make use of this easy and free tool go to runnersworld.com, select training at the navigation bar near the top of the page, click on the little gray box with green letters spelling SmartCoach.  A head's up: they want your email address and little else, I haven't been plagued with spam, I doubt you will.  In following the schedule I made a 4:20 (4 hours, 20 minutes) time!  In doing so, I finished the race (a goal in itself!) ahead of my predicted time of 4:30, but didn't hit my dream time of 4 flat.

So why go again?  Simple, when I know I can do better, I want to.  Next question: why do I think I can do better?

In September I took on a 1/2 marathon in Asheville, NC.  A slight misread (and brain malfunction) had me expecting a MUCH easier course than what I encountered.  I had a goal in mind of 1:40.  I finished 1:55.  The extra 15 minutes on those hills (small mountains it seemed) was a price I both felt and feel is fair.  With the 1/2 marathon time in place, I went to look at the free (noticing a trend here for the tools I like?) running calculator found at mcmillianrunning.com I'm projected a 3:48-3:52 finish.  There's that sub-4 hour race time again.

I'm fully aware that it's the time of year again where everyone else is thinking about presents, shopping, traveling, and the Great One in a manger.  I've shared some thoughts on that in a previous post (here), but let me throw yet another thought on the pile: what if you started thinking now about your resolution for improvement now.  This would be a gift you'd give the rest of the world that might very well take a full year to be fully wrapped and delivered.  You could be selfless: run to improve your health so others get to enjoy you longer.  If it fits you better, you could be selfish: run to improve your health so you get to annoy others longer.  Just saying, there are worse things.

Whatever your motivation, start considering now what goals you'd like to have in place to make your life and others' lives more wonderful.  What would you like to do that seems impossible this year?  If you need a source of real inspiration you could always try one of my favorites: here.

Keep up with me and keep me updated on you.  Feel free to ask questions, post advice, and log your victories alongside my own.  I can't promise accountability, but I will celebrate your joys and weep with you in the tough times.

Merry Christmas and happy running!

Youth ministry weekend

Just got back from National Youth Workers Convention hosted by Youth Specialties.  It's one of the best treats a youth worker can have!  It sets you up to hear great bands (like Crowder & Starfield), enjoy insightful speakers (like Kara Powell & Chap Clark), & enjoy belly-laugh funny entertainers (like Skit Guys or Lost & Found).  It was a wonderful time of rest and recharging.
But something that I never remember (I've gone before) is that the time spent with other youth workers is exhilarating!  It's an under-rated selling point.  "Do you want to come be with people like you?  Then join us for NYWC!"  I ignore that pitch 11 out of 10 times, but that's what I'm so thankful for now.  For you not involved in youth ministry you may think we're all nuts... and you're probably right.  But to have a chance to join with thousands of other just-as-nuts people, who immediately get it, without fear of judgment; it's a beautiful thing.

Pothead support group

This community is more than great for a solid weekend, it points to a more central desire inside us all.  Acceptance is often a driving force in our culture.  We wear what we do to maintain or project the right style.  We say what we say to impress or develop the right reputation.  We work and sacrifice to make ourselves provable by our bosses for promotions.  We want to be welcome, we fear being rejected.

A present current inside the conference was stepping away from the programs and focusing more on the point of being the church.  The point was to let go of maintaining the machine and use the new found time and energy to establish relationships.  This would effectively set the church up to be the place of acceptance and relationship that is at the root of our desire.  We want a place to belong and be welcome, the church SHOULD be that.

It shouldn't take five days to remind church leaders of that truth.  But 5 days are a small price to pay if we will come together, remember, and then leave to be different.

PS: Here's the links for the above mentioned artist.
http://www.davidcrowderband.com/
http://www.starfieldonline.com/
http://www.skitguys.com/
http://speedwood.com/

My fellow Americans...

In doing some birthday shopping for my little girl, I noticed that the Christmas season is soon upon us.  And while I can't say I'm looking forward to braving the masses, I am excited about the giving spirit that often overtakes us.

With that in mind, I have started looking for ideas on how to give better.  Not as in better wrapping or finding the right doo-dad or what's-it, but instead to give more than presents, to give presence.  To aim to be with people.  This can certainly include a gift, but maybe a little different. 

EXAMPLE: give a board-game with a homemade gift certificate for a "dinner and game night" at your house.

It's aiming to give better relationally.  This means to invest in someone, instead of something for someone.  I hinge it under the idea that most of us have more stuff than we need, but we could always use more time with people we love.  So how do we do that?

Here's an idea from a friend, cook 30 meals for someone else for 30 days.  Her mindset behind it can be found here: http://amyfmitchell.blogspot.com/

Another great idea is to do treasure hunt with your family.  This takes minimum planning and produces warm memories.  Video tape and share it!  Need help?  Try: http://kids.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Free_Treasure_Hunt_Clues


Not the active type?  Get a friend a book that you're reading and plan to meet and discuss the chapters as you go through it together.  Buy the coffee when you're together.


Most of these ideas don't fit under a tree, but they'll certainly keep Christmas cheer alive long after the wrapping paper has been thrown away.  

Have any great ideas?  PLEASE share!

Steal these ideas

It's the time of year where everyone is busy and our calendar apps are in need of vacation... The Holidays. 
To make matters better or worse, It seemed these notions could serve those in youth ministry (or if your willing to take the initiative; life)

1. Sell line waiters-
   This is a fundraising idea that was spawned by theme parks, it sends teens out shopping with (or for) you.  NOT so you can buy them something, but so that you'll have someone with you or to wait in line while you head elsewhere, like to the car for a nap.  If you're trying to get a hard to find/limited quantity item (think Wii a few years back), rent a teen to stand in line for the opening of the store.  They'd be your shopping Go-for the day.
   OBVIOUS PAYOFF: money for the teens
   HIDDEN PAYOFF: the teens spend time serving and with people they don't normally encounter
2. Eating a little differently- This is a idea that we did a few years back at our winter retreat.  For each day, we'd have a *special* meal.  When we talked about being open with the community, we ate spaghetti... without napkins or utensils.  When we talked about how we need each other, we had tacos, but you had to get each part of the taco (lettuce, cheese, meat, etc...) from a different person.  For service, we fed each other sandwiches.
   OBVIOUS PAYOFF: a memory they'll remember
   HIDDEN PAYOFF: they're thinking about the message in new ways
3. Put a 1/4 back- This is a policy idea for fundraisers.  Many churches have big ticket items that require more money than the regular event.  For the Nazarene church, that's NYC, which comes every four years and often cost over a grand.  So why not put a 1/4 of everything raised back towards the cost?  If the idea is communicated enough in advance, there shouldn't be any trouble.  Make it a part of the community and save yourself the headaches. 
   EXAMPLE 1: a fundraiser raises $1000, put back $250 specifically for the big trip. 
   EXAMPLE 2: a teen earns $100 for their work, put back $25 for the big trip. 
   OBVIOUS PAYOFF: trip prices are more affordable
   HIDDEN PAYOFF: the teens are already somewhat committed to the trips before you even advertise
4. A leader per item- This is a program idea.  I love to do things different.  The running joke around my church goes like this, "This week we're going to do our regular thing and do something different".  A great way to get more people involved from your church community is to bring in someone who can specialize in that one new/different thing.  You're not asking them to come with you for every retreat/lockin.  You're asking them for a one-time giving of themselves... which can often bleed into more. 
   EXAMPLE: Bob is a mechanic.  You want to talk about the Spirit's direction in the church.  Have Bob come explain (or better yet, SHOW with an engine) the workings of a car engine and you talk about how the Spirit fuels, steers, etc...
   OBVIOUS PAYOFF: you're not the talking head all the time
   HIDDEN PAYOFF: you can easily evaluate who you would and wouldn't want to pursue as a volunteer

Mega-churches, running, and redemption

I got a new book today!

And yes, it's an occasion that deserves an exclamation point.  A new book is a WONDERFUL thing.  Its loaded with mystery and intrigue: will it surpass/support the cover art? will it contain new insight? will it be worth the $xx.xx price?  New books are exciting.

The difference?

This one is The Christian Atheist by Craig Groeschel.  The title summary is "Believing in God, but Living as if He Doesn't Exist".  I'm expecting a faith and works take on Christianity and thus far, a fifth into it, I'm rewarded.  Let me swing over to a different subject.

I run.  Not just when someone is chasing me or when there is free ice cream.  I run to argue against my age, to keep in shape, to enjoy fellowship, to have cave time, to pray, etc...  And for the strength, foolishness, and payoff of all of those reasons, if I don't have a race I'm training for, I don't run consistently.  Hold that, let's jump again.

Swinging back to The Christian Atheist, Craig is a pastor at a fairly large, multi-site church in Oklahoma, Lifechurch.tv.  He has authored many books ranging from church planning to a very personal insight on the subject of lust.  I was able to participate for three months in a life group formed out of his church and found the discussions and people seeking to be reformed towards God's image.  Their mission statement is " leading people to become fully devoted followers of Christ."

Why bring all this up?

Intention.  When there's intention, purpose, direction then the result is better than when anything goes.  My running is haphazard when I don't have a goal to aim for, a challenge to overcome, or target in mind.  A Christian can easily start living as though anything is permissible if belief in God is all there is.  But when there is a passion to guide, a mentor to follow, or a life pursued then the Christian life quickly distinguishes itself from that of an atheist.

And this points to redemption.  This is the idea of God making all things new, of a new heaven and earth.  This is how we understand the Kingdom come on Earth like Heaven.

Redemption and intention.  They're exciting.  Like new books.

A minister's job description

Let me set this up first.  I'm reading through the book of 1 Thessalonians with a commentary so as to study it more thoroughly.  Feel free to call me names.

Today's reading examined the second chapter where Paul (and others) go about metaphorically describing their role with the Thessalonians.  In twelve verses Paul typifies the relationships as a heavy-hitter, an infant, a wet nurse, as a brother/sister, a father, and an orphan.  Try to find consistency in that!

In as many examples as he offers, he shows the complexity of the relationship.  The leader is dependent, abandoned, and coexisting as they find their way along.  This peculiar detailing shows that in the minister's ways, variation isn't just expected but necessary.

If you're a pastor, this seems all too familiar.  No shock to think about the hats you wear that CERTAINLY weren't talked about in the job interview.  From plunging the toilet to dunking booth at the fall festival, you're not sure what happened, but you're pretty sure that it wasn't covered in seminary.  But somehow the craziness is found in you being both the father and the orphan, it rest some way in the call.

If you're a lay minister, this reality may seem par for the course.  But please, make an understanding face for your pastor when s/he starts mentioning that nowhere in their studying of the New Testament or Old did they cover heating and cooling services on 20 year old machines.

And for all of us in between, may grace cover and love abound.

Discipline

Woody Stevens asked the question, "Who are you discipling and who's discipling you?"  Despite the fact that my spellchecker doesn't like the word "discipling", it's a fair question.

In the Nazarene denomination, the vision statement is "making Christlike disciples in the nations".  Unquestionably a worthwhile goal.

Dr. Micheal Henderson points out, "By making disciples, we ensure Jesus' presence."  He said this while pointing to the great commission, Matthew 28:18-20.

Discipleship is important and we get that, but... how does it happen?  Let's momentarily pretend there's a right way and a wrong way in discipleship.  Here's some ways to contrast the two:

1. "We'll just do discipleship from this hour to that hour."  A disciple/mentor doesn't really get time off.  Does this mean that you're always on the clock?  Yes.  Does this mean you're always working? No.  Consider: a mother never stops being a mother, a  husband never stops being a husband, a brother never stops being a brother.  These are roles defined by the relationship (a brother cannot be a brother by himself), the relationship never rests. 
   In choosing to model/follow a way, there isn't room to pick it up and put it down.  Either we follow or we don't (Matt 12:30).  This becomes an issue of loyalty and priority.  In Christianity we do a great disservice in marketing discipleship as anything less than full life and schedule surrender.  To follow/lead in the way, we have to root it relationally, we can't place it as an item on our agenda.
2. "We'll just see where we end up." 
   A disciple-based relationship is one that is with intent and purpose.  Those who you are shaping and that are shaping you are connections that will build in intimacy or crash with apathy.  This is intimacy that is hinged not in sexual areas, but in the deepening trust that allows for vulnerability and correction.  If this isn't nourished, then the relationship stagnates. 
   The first subject to be broached is who is leading and to what end.  Without a clear definition of the mentoring task and goal, the permission will not be in place to accomplish the task.  This is why the first of the 12 steps is admitting there is a problem.  Essentially, if I don't see something about your way that I like better than my way and ask you to teach it to me, you won't have any sway over my thoughts and actions.
3. "We'll do this forever!"
   There has to be understood room for the dissolving of the mentoring relationship.  This doesn't mean the respect and intimacy are abandoned.  I'm not advocating the abandonment of what was learned.  Instead, the point is that there would be room to intently shape and form the disciple and then for the lessons learned to built on by others.
   Example: a youth pastor is expected to disciple the teens in their ministry.  As a teen graduates the ministry, someone else (college professor, boss, church elder) should look to disciple them in the next phase of their life. 
   Just as you wouldn't want a kindergarten teacher to lead the way into the marriage ceremony, other people are needed to shape and inform the life that Christ calls us into.  A more rounded community is needed than 2 people.  This encourages life-giving participation inside an inclusive body instead of small groups of people who grow stale by feeding off each other.

The greatest NFL commercial

For those who love their teams.

Thanks to my pal Kyle White for turning my attention this way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adG34woMVs4

A great way to do gross outs

We just got back from our fall retreat.  As such, one of my favorite elements is always the Saturday, late-night special.  It's the time when we do the wheel of torture!  We set it up somewhat like a game show, you could go all the way and get costumes and what not, but we just have two guys they interview the "contestant" up front and generally serve as the personality of the time.

I'm not sure who came up with this, but I first saw it at a Nazarene teen camp in New Mexico.  The idea is pretty simple, but loaded with fun.

1. Create a display wheel.
   I'd advise building one that is easily viewed by the audience, this would allow you to gauge the size you'd need to create.  Go for one that could be placed on a stand or tall table.  We had someone (thanks Alan Stewart!) make the wheel with three 5ft legs so that it stood eye-level.  Next you'll want to place nails or pegs into the wheel and a "ticker" to flick off each peg so that there's something to catch (create friction to stop) it.  Go ahead and mark the section of the wheel with lines.  We numbered it to 13 because it was for gross-outs and wanted to play off the unlucky thirteen.   
2. Find your content
   There are limitless sources for quick mini-games.  If you're in need, here's two easy ones:
   http://www.nbc.com/minute-to-win-it/how-to/
   http://www.thesource4ym.com/games/sick.asp
   There's always going mega-insane with stuff from NBC's Fear Factor.  I'm NOT recommending this as phone calls from disgruntled parents or their lawyers are never fun. 
3. Gather your supplies and set up crew
   Get your supplies well before you start!
   Don't put yourself or others in the position where you'll need to run to the other side of the building to grab something.  Pull it all together and organize it in advance.
   The "set up crew" is almost a no-brainer, but I figured mentioning it would save a youth leader or three.  If you're participating as the personality up front that is calling people forward (playing the game show host), then you'll have a hard time ALSO doing the set up and supply organization. 
4. Get rolling!
   At this point your ready to spin the wheel and let the good times roll... straight on to YouTube!  Just kidding... maybe... :)  We always mention right off the bat that this is completely voluntary, that no one is being forced to participate and that the results will be gross.
   We always do a sign up so as to make sure we have a list of willing participants.  We refuse to take someone's name just because someone else says it (Bobby can't sign up Frank, Frank comes up to volunteer or we don't put his name on the list).  This also eliminates the hassle of someone refusing to come forward.  They've agreed to it in advance, there's no forcing to be done
   They spin the wheel, land on the number and you tell them what they've won.  Repeat ad nausea!
5. Other thoughts and words of caution:

• the longer the set up and transitions the more you'll lose the audience interest.
• to intensify the night, you could have the different parties compete for points.  We did a battle of the sexes, worked great!
• consider busting these up to be a part of something larger, doing two maybe three at a time instead of the focus of a whole block of time.
• having a medical release for is always a good idea!  You never know what can happen.
• if pressed for assistance, you could drop some of the "set up crew".  It would take more up front work, just organize all the materials needed for the gross out that was spun and the participant could grab their own bag/box.  You'd still have to set it up, but some work would be done.
• follow the sage advice from my brother Derek Mitchell, "Always ask yourself; what I tell the police when they show up?"

Enjoy and please, feel free to share improvements to the idea!

Great quotes to (steal) live by

~Pablo Picasso

•  “Bad artists copy. Good artists steal.” 
• “Action is the foundational key to all success.”

~Mark Twain

• "Sincerity is the most important thing.  Once you can fake that, you got it made." 
• “Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first” 
• “To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.”

~C. S. Lewis

• “There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way” 
• “You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.” 
• “We are all fallen creatures and all very hard to live with”

Artwork created by WonderBros.  Find out more or buy your own at:
http://www.wonderbros.com/art/artwork-so-awesome-it-will-melt-your-face-off/

God Is Not...

In case you haven't seen this (and the counter says less than 200k of us have), you really should.

I saw a hero once

With Jack Bauer being used for national security policy and Dr. House being the man we want NOT holding our hand on the surgical table, it's hard work looking for heroes today.  Sure, there's the TV show, but even those guys start looking a little like villains (at least Sylar had vision!)

Good news: a tragic hero isn't anything new!  Heroes have always had a ruined side and nature.  Well before Tony Stark was a womanizer, Samson ruined things.  Bad news: civilization isn't where it could be.  But more on that in a minute.

Consider the system of Judges for a second; the people sinned then cried out, God raised up a judge, s/he rallied the people and drove out the oppressor, and a time of peace came as they followed God.  But the system keeps devolving; the people don't rally, the hero stops before deliverance becomes full, the peace isn't seen. 

This really is seen best in Samson's story.  He walks away from his Nazarite ways, he is opposed by Judah, he deals only moderate blows to the Phillistines, and talk of peace and freedom remains talk.  There never was a more (super)naturallly gifted judge than Samson, yet he did the least.  Go with the screaming contrast of Gideon "the whiner".  He followed beautifully, the result: 40 years of rest, a full cycle of peace for the people.  Samson's big result: a woman who got a payday while he got a hair cut and learned about structural engineering.

Good news: God gets involved and sets things right.  Bad news: we push our agenda forward and the cycle begins again.  So what marks the difference between the tragedy and the victory?  How do we keep following and stop leading? 

Simple: Matt 6:9-13

Ever sit back and wonder what it means for God's will to be done on Earth like Heaven?  Heaven is typified by it's peace; no more tears, no more goodbyes, no war... This is probably because Heaven (I haven't been there, but I hear it's nice) is where everyone follows God's will.  Follows, not leads.

I love CS Lewis often made point in The Screwtape Letters, faithfulness not success is our goal in being Christians.  I saw a hero once who did this.  He died and three days later he came back.  I like him a lot.